Saturday, November 19, 2011

first trimester past


it's been a while since i last open this page. almost 4 months. hahahha~ dear friends, do forgive me.

not pretending to be busy. I really am busy, believe me. plus i didn't have any new updates on my life. 

anyhow, i've got one now. i've got a new hope recently. a new love actually. i think i've waited quite long to mend my broken one. it's time to move on and i really hope this is the final one. couldn't find any courage and strength if this wasn't the one. 

Love, i really hope you are the one.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

ice cold




my heart didn't skip the beat like what Lenka said.. 
nor did it beat like 2P.M.. 

all I can say, my heart frequently feels numb.. 
it feels like it didn't get enough blood supply to keep pumping.. 


that's what it is..

you left me broken, and three years are not enough to mend it well. 





that's what i felt all these years..

but i'll hang on, till i find a new heart..

a heart that will not freeze mine anymore..

Saturday, July 9, 2011

once in a blue moon

Hi there..

I've been blue..
caused by loneliness and 'unsocial'ness..
*haha..aku wujudkan sendiri perkataan tu.

Stuck in the Bat's cave..
The Gloom stays with me for quite a while..
Been facing the Sun for the past week..
So that the Gloom evaporate into thin air..

but, Hey~~~
I got you babe..
I'll write all in here..


* So sorry dear friends, not that I forgot bout you all..but things do get out of my hands ever so easily..Do forgive me..


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

wanted: STEAMROLL!!

Bumpy roads,
owhhhh my dear bumpy roads,

can i steamroll u to straighten things out?

be still please..


Tuesday, May 3, 2011


It has been a while since my last update. Not saying that I’m busy, it’s just that couldn’t really find the time to jot down anything that has happened recently. My writing mood seems to slowly disintegrate .

Well, let me now update on how things are right now.
 1)      work is pressing me down steadily. Not really that busy but, lack of idea on finishing it.
2)      Social life kinda pending. To say the truth, I miss my lab mates. The time we spend together, enjoying ourselves.
Ehem ehem Relationship. Nil. Nothing. Zero.
Huge sigh again and again. Felt like my life now is so empty. 

Can anybody give me any idea on how to spice up my life? 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

King of Whatever

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything

The song just suit the situation I’m facing, like a glove. This recurring problem tends to make me produce unique sound from time to time.

What would you do if somebody takes everything else for granted? Let say, in my situation, this selfish person just kept doing things according to her way of thinking. But you know that you have a better way for it? And she won’t take NO for an answer. And she really didn’t care about your time wasted waiting for her? But when her time ticks, she jumps up and down and makes a big fuss over it. What would you do then?

I don’t know what actually happened, but I find myself more patients lately. I’m actually a really hot-headed girl. Yeah, change do happens. And maybe it’s a good one.

But the thing is, I can’t do a thing to chase this problem, or rather someone, away. Tried to voice out my objection, my contempt. But all to no avail. Waiting for a next turn so that I can fix this. Maybe if I restrict the time spent figuring out about how to please her life, then the sun can shine and produce more rainbows.


Thursday, March 31, 2011

blast from the past

Reminiscing the past makes me swoon.  

Back then, I AM ME. The cool me, the happy me, the fun-loving me, the down-to-earth me, the not-caring-much-about-what-people-think me. And the times spent were all worth it. Miss the old days so much. Miss the guys there too.

And now, I’M NOT ME anymore. People change with time.  Yes, I know. But when I look at me now, I can barely recognize the other person staring back at me and it doesn’t please me at all.

I’m missing my inner me. And I need to find her again. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Jar of Hearts

heard this on my way to fill my dear stomach.

and the words catch my ear.

hurmm.. Lagu yang Kuat..
itu aku suka..

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

I know I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Float Buoy!! Float!!

Yesterday went movie-mania alone. trying to watch all the movies in my dear Lappy. Need to clear her (Yes, Lappy is a girl, okeh.. So is my kancil, Miss Pudu). It will not be long before she's congested with all the haven't-had-time-to-watch-yet movies. 

And with all that pending movie list, I've managed to download MORE MOVIES from the net due to Sandy Frenzy syndrome I've had recently. So, another fifteen movies were added. There you go. When will I finish watching all these movies. Aiyyoh..

So, back to yesterday. Sandy Frenzy was in full blast! Six p.m. sharp, the curtains were drawn to cinema-fy my room. With my dear roommate off on her holiday, I got the room all for myself. Terbongkang tak hengat la jawabnya. 

Anyway, watched Hope Floats with Sandy as the lead. 

I'll give this movie thumbs up. Times hundred. 

Felt strength rising inside of me. Strength to stand up and walk tall. I may say that I'm cured. It's been three years. But to say the truth, I don't think that I'm really cured. You know, being cheated really left a huge scar on me. A scar that will bleed from time to time. And still praying that all will just remain as the past. 

But, as soon as the strength settles in, my dear negative thoughts amplified through my head. She's a beauty, surely men waits in line for her. Me? Huge ultimate sigh there. And I couldn't agree more. Guess I just have to go on with my life any pray that the scar will stop bleeding. And if insists on bleeding, I'll apply pressure to it. Gauze it up, bandage it tightly.

Okay, enough about that. All I wanna tell all of you is the soundtrack from the movie is just super sweet

do enjoy the songs k..

Ps - my english is getting rusty. need to polish+wax it till it shines..hahaha..

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

sehatkan hatiku


Bolehkah kita lari tanpa henti?

Tatkala diri ingin bergerak laju.
Tatkala diri enggan tahu tentang dunia keliling.
Tatkala diri merasa ingin sendiri.
Tatkala diri sedih gundah.


Dan jika boleh, mampukah aku bertahan?
Sehingga semua itu aman kembali.

Ku mohon kekuatan dariMU.
Ku mohon agar lariku laju.
Ku mohon agar aman itu kembali.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

until it shows

tengah busan buat kija ni, memang ni la hasilnya..
update blog..

Boss, sila jangan sedar kerajinan aku ni..

dan dalam dok belek2..
baru aku perasan cam ramai je pengikut follower aku..
38 tu..

Duckness mengucapkan 
selamat datang dan sila berkunjung lagi ke sini..

macam 'perasaan' je kan?

tapi betul la nih..
kalau datang tu, 
singgah tu,
tegur2 lah..
leh je tambah2 kawan kat sini..

comments from all of u are much appreciated


ps~teruja + xsangka ramai kawan..sayang kamo semua..

Monday, February 21, 2011

Hati yang Berdegup

Kau kata semua dah reda.
Kau bisik yang semua dah lepas,
Tapi kenapa bila Jantung itu datang mengganggu,
Kau terkesan?
Kau pula yang berdegup laju.

Kau tahukah itu tugas si Jantung
Untuk mengganggu Kau?

Aku, si Empunya diri,
Mahu meminta maaf pada kau si Hati,
Aku juga masih tidak bersedia,
Aku dah usaha sehabis mungkin,
Aku jarakkan Jantung dari Hati,
Walaupun itu mustahil, kata si Buku biologi

Si Jantung sudah punya Hati yang lain,
Kau harus ingat itu,

Kalau ikut buku saintifik itu,
Hati sepatutnya ada 4 bahagian,
Tapi Aku mau Jantung yang perlukan cuma satu bahagian Hati.
Dan Aku mau Hati itu hanya jadi Kau sorang.
Mahukah Kau benda yang sama?

Ayuh, lari jauh dari Jantung itu.
Jika Jantung datang lagi,
Si Hati, kau harus buka langkah besar.
Selagi Kau masih lagi terkesan.

Wahai Jantung ku yang sebenar,
Segeralah datang mencariku.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

and then it shines

cantik tak layout aku yang baru?
simple kan?
ilang rasa serabut2 nih (for a while la)

and i can't stop smiling..

well, as for now,
I'm gonna be and do what I please..

changing my blog to absolute pinkness..
my desktop background too..

and I've recently realize that I don't really care about what people say about me..

as for the 'Pink Sensitivity',
they're gone already..

sekarang semua barang aku warna pink..

and I'm heap-py

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

through the jumble

i think it's not to late to wish y'all


got a bit bz lately,
new works slumping it's way in front of me
just in time for the dateline..

sucks kan?

walopon xde idea,
still i wanna post a new entri..
but not from my creativity..
search it through the web, baby


but the ultimately awesome pic for today is.........

penah cuba tak?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

let us be flockmaster

baru2 ni dengar satu ceramah..
pasai cara2 untuk bergaul dengan orang ramai..
(sila note aku x angkat kening bila sebut perkataan, jgn think -ve k)

kalau ikutnya..
kita harus layan seseorang tu kena dengan cara..
bukan semua kita layan dengan cara yang sama..
xmau jadi hipokrit konon..
to hell with that..

aku pikir aku harus layan orang tu sama cam aku nak orang layan aku..
tapi, in the end,
aku akan sakit hati..
sebab kekadang orang tu layan aku dgn teruk..
tapi aku xleh nak balas balik keterukan dia..

sepatutnya, kita layan orang tu sama cam dia layan kita..
kita sepatutnya layan dia sama cam keperibadian dia..

kalo orang tu angkuh, kita kena layan angkuh..
kalo orang tu alim, kita kena sopan..
kalo orang tu loqlaq, kita pon buleh loqlaq..

itu bukan hipokrit namanya..
itu bertindak ikut kesesuaian..
Rasulullah s.a.w. pon amalkan camtu..

i've tried that tips recently..
dan aku dapati ia amat berkesan..
sebab aku dah cakap kasar dengan orang yang berkasar dengan aku..
dan dia pon dah kurang bercakap dengan aku..

dan aku perli2 balik orang yang suka perli2 aku..
walopon perlian dia xberhenti..
tapi hati aku lebih lega bila apa yang aku tak suka, aku dapat luahkan balik dengan perlian pada dia..

dan akhirnya, 
aku jugak yang gembira..
itu yang penting kan?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

beware of PSYCHO

Last night I went psyco. Felt like crying over nothing. Have you ever felt that way?

Maybe I’m a bit sad, plus I saw my Old Boss last evening. Haiyyah.. when I was working under him, I’ve did so many things that I shouldn’t. Rebel. But then, when time like this, I kinda missed him. He’s a definite father figure. Boss, I love you. Hope that good things will eventually come your way. Aminnn.

Tried to call Mama, but she was buzy with her work. Called my sis, but she didn’t answer. Felt ultimately lonely. 

Then I accidently hurt my finger. The tears came down like waterfall. After finished crying (mata dah macam goldfish) everything was better.

PS ~ ini adalah entri merapu.. saja nak tulis kat sini..

Friday, January 28, 2011

i am a superhero too

if you're a fan of comics and superhero
you'll surely managed to guess these following superhero costume with their names
just try and find out who you believed in.........

i'm tagging all of you readers.
do  these k..
and just list the names that u know..

PS~ the answer is here
Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Superman, Supergirl, Barbarella, Mighty Mouse Ironman, Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, Cyclops, The Incredibles, Kick Ass, Radioactive man, Fall out boy (milkhouse version), Wonder Woman, The Flash, Captain Atom, Aeon Flux, El santo, Wolverine, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Professor X, Chapulin Colorado, The Darkness, The Tick, Ben (FF), Hellboy, He-Man, Freakazoid, Silver Surfer, Witchblade,Metamorpho, Spiderman, Mandrake, Mighty Man, Green Lantern, Falcon, Atom Ant, Hancock, The Phantom, Storm (Xmen), Birdman, Aquaman, Iceman, Captain Marvel, Spawn, Space Ghost, Blade, Blue Falcon, Dynomutt, Flash Gordon, Bartman, The Vision (Avengers),TMNT Raphael, TMNT Leonardo, TMNT Donatello, TMNT Michelangelo, Plastic Man, Duffman, Scarlet Witch, The punisher, Dare Devil, Hawkman, Black Vulcan, Zorro, Hawk and Dove, Sandman, Hulk Hogan, Gambit, Wonder Twins, Marshal Bravestarr, Electra and Spidergirl.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Teori tentang Perempuan

Menarik kan tajuk kali ni. Kompem jejaka2 best nak baca, nak mengenali hati perempuan la kononnya. Well, aku kan dah memang expert on hati perempuan ni. LOL. Perlu ke?

Aku ada satu teori. Keberkesanan teori aku setakat ini adalah amat tinggi. Kalo cam peratus exam dulu2, kompem dapat A++, 95% correct weh. [Sila perasankan ayat ‘exam dulu2’ aku tu, Nampak sangat aku dah tua. Uhuks uhuks..]

Teorinya berbunyi begini..

Ehem ehem [clearing throat]

Perempuan yang suka memasak, tak gemar menjahit..

Perempuan yang suka menjahit, tak gemar memasak.

In terms of meaning, bukan bermaksud mereka tak reti langsung. Cuma tak berminat. Selalunya kebolehan itu ada, tapi sekadar cukup2 makan dan tak berminat untuk memperkembangkan teknik itu.

Tapi ini semestinya tak boleh diaplikasi kepada semua perempuan. MOSTLY la kan. Understand?

Oleh itu, sila lihat gambar2 di bawah. Hasil kerja aku yang pertama.


Hiasan tu 100% aku yang bersalah bertanggungjawab. Cantik kan? [Sila puji]

Sekarang, perkembangan terbaru, mau buat cam ni. 

Sulam Reben. Sebab buleh buat bentuk bunga tulip. Tapi kan, seswai ke corak ni kat tudung2? hurmmm

PS~ tajuk itu berkaitan dengan confession aku.. go figure it out yourself..